Category Archives: Marriage

My Valentine

In 1998, the man who I’d come to adore more than any other, ever, had been traveling to every state in the U.S. on a post-senior year writing trip.  He drove an unreliable Volkswagen vanagon he called “Great White Hope.”  I was completing a busy senior year of study, forgiveness research, work and Young Life ministry at Whitworth University. We were navigating a very committed long-distance relationship in pre-cell phone, early e-mail days, and it was tough. We really missed each other.

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He was set to be home in March.  But on Valentine’s Day he showed up on my front doorstep with roses in his hands. I was completely shocked and overjoyed!

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Thank you Scott Sund for continuing to be a man of vision, who follows the call God puts on your heart, and always returns to our love. Who am I, to be so lucky, to be your wife and share this life adventure with you? Happy 15th Valentine’s Day together!

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Holding On: After All These Years, and For Many More to Come

Fifteen years ago a college boy who was out of my league in every way asked me out on a date.  He was cute, smart, successful, could tame a wild room full of Young Life kids with his funny stories and the promise of God’s overwhelming love for them, and he was so nice.  That’s what drew me to him.  His kindness.  His big smile.  The way he talked to the frizzy haired lunch lady that everyone else just gave their food card to without a word, about her son’s upcoming basketball game, showed me he was different in the way he related to people and I was enamored with that, with him.

I still am.  Thirteen years of marriage later, 4 births, one death, 4 cities, 6 homes, 3 remodels, blossomed careers, callings, ministries, travels, heartaches, intimacy, arguments, feeling like soul mates often and days when we must work to be friends, we have had many ups and downs in what is still the early years of a life-long relationship.  There is a lot of glue between us, from emotion to experience and I cannot begin to imagine my life with anyone but him, nor would I ever want it, ever.  Even amidst the day to day life of raising 3 kids, adult responsibilities, passion-filled career lives and ministries, and so much more that could cause us to pass one another by in an average day, I find myself awestruck that I get to share it all with this amazing man.  I feel lucky to know him.  It astounds me that I get to be his wife.

So, with a full throttle remodel in process, 3 busy kids’ lives and hearts to keep up with, 2 soccer teams to coach, barely enough time to talk about the functional aspects of our lives let alone hopes and dreams and intimacy building things, we planned a little getaway to celebrate an insignificant number of married years, that is of extreme significance to us every single day.

“It is the worst possible time to leave” we always say “which is why it is the best time.”  We need this.

We had some airline miles that were going to expire, a summer business that will soon take over our lives, a baby on the way that will cut-short our chances to travel and so many more reasons why we had to get away now, and it has been so good.

Cape Cod it is.  We came here in a blink 7 years ago and I have wanted to return ever since to the fishing towns reminiscent of our summer life.  With history and charm and antiques that are older than this century and houses that are even older, I love the legacies, stories and lifestyle of a the opposite coast of our young Northwest harbor town.  Even the simple differences in house design, (save me from the craftsman-style please! It is cape-cod that I love!) the drift wood gray shingles on every home, with lots of white trim, ocean colors inside and out, has me oohing and ahhing over this quaint respite.  Fishing and lobster boats out our windows, the promise of good seafood for dinner, a sandy beach to enjoy alone just before tourists descend en mass, it feels like a little piece of heaven to just take it all in with my husband and best friend.  Nothing more to accomplish this day than a scenic drive, beach walk and good conversation, uninterrupted.  It is all and everything we need.

Refreshed – Rejuvenated – holding hands with no-one swinging between them, we will hold these moments with us as we return to life as usual, a very good life – Reminded – that there is so much that is so good to hold onto between us.


Keeping Vigil

I am awake much too late, and not haphazardly. After a long weekend of late night wedding celebrations and a long play-filled visit with dear friends from childhood, I was more than ready for an early night’s rest. But alas, my husband is on a journey north, a long journey, after a long weekend for him too, and I am prone to keep vigil until he arrives safely at his destination. I will not sleep soundly until he does. God bless me when I have teenagers!

My husband Scott gave an inspiring homily at the wedding of JIm and Mary Anne Frank about the work of a relationship. Citing wisdom from the New Testament and referencing the tides he bases life around when fishing, he gave a charge to all in relationships to serve one another wholeheartedly and be ready for the changes, and there will be goodness. He danced into the night with a grateful wife and 3 giddy children. It is a rare treat to get to be at a wedding together as the salmon season in Canada usually takes precedence to everything summer. But now he is a pastor, and his work divides his time, forcing a bit of normal summer life upon him when he is home overseeing ministry rather than the 18 hour days a seasonal resort requires of him. But, he must to return north.

His long journey began at 4:00 a.m this morning in Spokane so that he would be able to take guests fishing at 4:00 a.m. the following morning in northern British Columbia. He caught a flight to Seattle in time to pastor and preach at our satellite campus church, Bethany North. After the final chair had been stacked and the last storage trailer had been parked, he headed north toward the Canadian border for the beginning of a 10 hour trip. Meeting an overbooked ferry early in the day added a 2 1/2 hour wait to his journey and negated his chances of catching the last possible ferry to Malcolm Island, his final destination. McGyver-style, he figured it all out and had a boat delivered to the main Island, so he could arrive at his final destination in time.

As I nestle my children to bed, gather up my own good book to read and snuggle myself in at a very reasonable hour, I find I am wide awake waiting and can’t focus on my reading. His cell phone coverage is spotty in the more desolate parts as he drives the length of Vancouver Island so when he last could call I asked him to text when he arrived at the boat and then again when he had made it across. I have seen what can be in the water during the day. I know every last person at his destination will be sound asleep. The night crossing has me anxious, as does his late night drive after long full, albeit fun, days. I will keep vigil for him.

11:26 p.m. the first text comes in: “Port McNeill. Beautiful night for a boat ride”

I have been waiting and praying, for his safe arrival. He must be exhausted. I wish I could give him the gift of sleep he so often offers me when he’s up at fisherman’s hours in the off-season months to care for our early risers. I would drive the car or the boat late into the night while he slept, if only I could be journeying with him. But I am now hundreds of miles away and my only point of common reference is the dark starry sky out my window. I pray it will be bright for him.

My favorite lullaby to my children is my favorite for the words,

“Sleep my child
and peace attend thee,
all through the night.
Guardian angels God will send thee
all through the night.
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber steeping,
I my loving vigil keeping,
all through the night.”

That is what I do, keep vigil at night. I hear every sound, every cry, every pitter pat of tiny feet, every questionable bump in the night inside or outside. I am alert, even when I am sound asleep, I will awake and take on the night. I will do everything I can to nurture and protect my family, every hour of the day. I would have done well as a Shepherd and honored to be in the Garden of Gethsemane.

But the reality, is I can only do so much. Really, I can’t do much at all when I consider what truly might take my child’s breath or put us in danger. The real comfort of this lullaby comes not in resonating with my loving vigil, but the prayer of the beginning: Peace attend thee, my child, God will send Guardian Angels (Thanks be to God). I only keep watch, it is He who will protect thee. (Please and Amen).

I swoop into my children’s rooms each night just before I go to bed to hold my vigil one last time before I seek my own sleep. When my husband is away, I am all the more vigilant. Tonight though, it is his journey away from us that keeps me waiting and watching for his safe arrival. I realize how powerless I am from afar to protect him, just how powerless I will be as my children grow older, gain more freedoms and eventually depart from my home. But still I will keep my vigil, still I will pray. My only strength is His, that He provides guardian angels, that He keeps watch.

12:02 “Home. Bed. Goodnight.”

12:03 “Oh good, I love you!”

“Sleep my child and peace attend thee,” He whispers to me.