My prayer request last night was that I would feel ready to have this baby. I have just relished my pregnancies. Even though there have been fearful moments and strong memories of our loss of Fisher, I haven’t felt too much anxiety about the birth itself, and that has been a blessing. But I just haven’t felt quite ready. With this being our last and after a very full summer, I was feeling like it had gone by too fast. On top of all that, I have wondered if I was really ready for the work ahead of 4 kids! (I am the first to admit this 4 kid hope of ours is a bit crazy!)
Last night was such a gift though! I went to bed feeling so filled up with all the encouraging words, blessings and prayers for our baby. I felt so loved and commissioned to have this little guy, and reminded of all the hopes we have had in choosing to have him. When I got up to use the bathroom early this morning Scott asked how I was doing and I said “I am ready to have this baby now.”
And then my water broke. I laughed because the timing felt just right. I am feeling so strong and at peace today.
So we are at Swedish now. It was slow moving, not many regular contractions at first, ironically, after all these weeks of trying to slow them down, but they are painful in the labor sort of way now. It took a while to get a positive test result for the amniotic fluid (I did NOT pee my pants!) but it finally showed up and I was officially admitted into “Spa Swedish” as Jen called it last night. My nurse Sarah is really great and on with me through the night and Dr. Pray from my OB office is on call until morning as well, and I feel like I am in good hands with her. My OB Dr. Bohmke, who delivered Avery, Fisher and Harper, is coming home from New York tonight so I am sure I will see her tomorrow when she’s back in the office. I’ve had my first favorite meal delivered and even took a little nap. Scott and I are enjoying these last “waiting hours” together, listening to some great worship music, taking in the sunny Seattle view of this gorgeous day and the pretty flowers Amy brought by (thank you!) and can’t believe the time is here. The big kids will join us when things get more regular, probably sometime late in the night.