Summer is ending and I am not ok with that. Today was a bright sunny day. We played outside, walked on the beach, shut the blinds and opened the window to feel the breeze at dinner time. The rains are set to hit tomorrow. It will be September, fall is near, and the beginning of everything that’s too much. I am just not ready. We’ve been sprinting too long and the marathon is yet to begin. I want to live the summer that seemed to pass us by.
But I want this season to be over. It has been a hard one, at times, and in ways. Not persistent or constant, tragic or torrential, just hard, at times, and it casts a shadow on the sun, that eventually did come. It always does.
I could detail the woes of business worries, lament unforeseen burdens of new roles in life, complain in the chorus of moms who go it alone while their husbands are gone or work hard, too hard, to sustain their family, follow their passion, or both. I could whine about sickness and chronic pain that renders me nearly useless too often these days. I could go on, get more specific. But I won’t. For I fear I shall be over-shadowing that which is so very good in it all, not a sappy silver lining, but truly, so much is so good.
I fear coming across negative, complaining, self-pitying, not optimistic enough, faithful enough, passionate, content or hard working enough, worry I must work harder to make it better. The weight is upon me.
But you see, it never is.
“My yoke is easy,
my burden is light”
He says.
And I believe Him but
I believe Him and
Life is just hard sometimes
and I have be the one to live mine
not alone, ever
I
Believe
Him.
Tomorrow it will rain
My children will smile,
I will hold their soft skinned limbs
feed and nurture them
with all that I have to give
no matter the pain
we will play
the sun will be there too
no matter the storm
it will just be there, and I will know it, feel it
done nothing to bare it
always
light, He reminds me
light